I have three small topics I want to quickly address – (1) The single mother monicker. More specifically, women who refer to themselves ‘single mothers’. (2) The disrespectful humiliation of high school wrestler Andrew Johnson. (3) The criticisms offered by Shannon Sharpe and Skip Bayless on Charles Barkley. But first, Happy 2019 to all the readers! I wish everyone a blessed, bountiful, productive year. Hopefully, whatever baggage, toxicisms (yes it’s a word to me, so what) and drama you endured, you left it in the rearview mirror. Remember, life moves forward and everything you go through is a learning experience. Having said that let’s get on with it with our first topic- Single Mother Why I HATE the term ‘single mother’      Single- adjective only one in number; one only; unique; sole  (2) of, relating to, or suitable for one person only  (3) solitary or sole; lone: I will preface this by saying there are no qualms on my end on single mothers – women who are literally taking care of their child(ren) on their own because of the father willingly…WILLINGLY…walking away from the home and its responsibilities. If you have to work, cook, clean, pay all the expenses and provide childcare while maintaining yourself, then continue doing the best you can in raising our potential future leaders and upstanding members of society.  Mozeltov to you single moms! Who isn’t a ‘single mom’ For those who use the title ‘Single Mom’ because you view it as a congressional medal of honor – a badge of some sort to help you feel better about yourself – well, finger of shame to you. Perplexed?  Allow me to break it down to you. If you’re receiving child support and/or some sort of government assistance. The father is actively and consistently engaged in the child(ren’s) lives and doesn’t have issues providing In some/most cases you are able to have a night out while having someone (not including the father) to watch the children for a few hours How are you a single mother / parent? Because you don’t have a man? Because you and the father aren’t together? I’m confused.  Under these circumstances, you are not a single mother. You are a single woman with child(ren). Who is a ‘single mother’ I know women personally who have to do everything for their child(ren). They play both mommy and daddy and couldn’t get any assistance (WIC, Food stamps, housing) because their salary dictates they are a smidgeon of ‘deserving’ any. And the father either doesn’t work or works under the table not providing a thing. I daresay, they are the ones who have the right to call themselves a single mom. I’ll give you an example. I remember a woman who shared a story with me on how her children’s father left her when the children were young. Her friends pleaded for her to put the dad on child support. However strong in her convictions and bearing a lot of pride, she chose to take care of the children on her own. Additionally, since she was fairly new to the states she had no family to help with anything. In my humble opinion, such a circumstance is a text book definition of single motherhood. I hear women many times use the phrase “I’m a single parent“. “I can’t xyx because I have ‘x’ kids and I’m by myself“, or “It’s tough being a single mother“. However, if you’re circumstances mirrors any items on the aforementioned bulleted list, how are you a single mother? Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely instances where some fathers are content in paying support only and aren’t actively involved as a parent. That, unfortunately, is a reality for a number of ‘broken families’ and single mother households. I guess my overall point is this: it would behoove women to self-reflect and take a look at their situation before jumping in line to become the next card-carrying member of the ‘Single Mother’s club’. My response to Shannon Sharpe & Skip Bayless Check out this video clip of Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharpe analyzing LeBron’s response to Charles Barkley. Did I miss something or they really got on Charles Barkley for leaving Philadelphia in 1992? He was traded to the Suns during the summer of 1992. The Sixers won 50+ games only once in the previous six years. Despite him scoring 23 ppg with 11 rebounds, the Suns missed the playoffs his last year there. Charles never complained about not having help but he knew that team was going nowhere. They didn’t make the playoffs until six years later. Meanwhile, with the Suns, they boasted a perennial All-Star in Kevin Johnson, a sharpshooting athletic dynamo in Dan Majerle, and Tom Chambers – although past his prime – averaged 16.3 points per game. They were seemingly a player away from the promised land.  Shannon and Skip blaming Charles for being traded to a team that was mediocre at best to go to a team that was already a title contender doesn’t make much sense. In the previous 4 seasons, they won 50+ games and went to the Western Conference finals twice. And by the way, Charles won MVP his first season there and went to the NBA finals losing to…you guessed it…the Chicago Bulls and his Airness (Michael Jordan). Lebron was already on a great team. They only went to the NBA finals the previous 2 years winning one of them. When will this era of whiny entitled players end? We don’t allow Black hairstyles in wrestling I found it totally whack that high school wrestler Andrew Johnson had to cut his locks before a big wrestling match. What the hell were they thinking, that he was Sampson? Did the believe the more hair he had the stronger he would be? It was bullsh*t on all levels. I can perhaps understand one making that personal hair cutting decision if he/she were in the process of landing a big corporate gig that paid handsomely. But other than that…yeah…yall missed me with that one. And he still won the damn match. Go figure. Peace and Blessings

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Well, well, well. We are just months away from the ‘holiday’ that is more celebrated than Jesus’ birthday. The one holiday that surpasses the slaughter of turkeys and this country’s day of ‘independence’ combined. Which holiday might that be you ask? Father’s Day. How do People Remember Father’s Day? Is it the plethora of Father’s Day commercials offering discounts on tools, clothing, buffets, and such? Does your mother remind you about Father’s Day? How about your friends? Or maybe even pops himself? No one? Okay. Father’s Day USUALLY runs on a Sunday. There are no football games to look forward to watching. The NBA finals are usually over, so how could we forget this day? Regardless, if you’re a baby daddy (more on that later) or a husband, it should be your special day, right? RIGHT?! Commercial Depictions of Dads Trust, there are no sour grapes being spewed or imaginary Molotov cocktails being hurled at mothers who do a great job. However, as a father myself, I don’t see the same level of fanfare given to Father’s Day the same way it is given to Mother’s Day. The next time you visit to your nearest CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, Duane Read, etc, pay attention to the differences between the cards. The sentiments for the fairer sex tend to be soft, warm, endearing, and usually contain strong words of praise for mothers. On the other hand, you may notice many of the cards for dads are less endearing and lean more on the side of buffoonery. Media Representations of Fathers I’m all for a sense of humor but when it comes down to something like an ode to dads around the world, it makes me put things into perspective. That said, let me ask you this: Is Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson, Stan Smith or Randy Marsh really how fathers are to be depicted? In all honesty, I used to think Al Bundy was the coolest dad despite the bathroom humor, his obsession with the ‘nudy bar’, the witty shots taken towards his neighbor Marcy, cannons fired at the super plus sized women, and occasional vitriol for his sometimes wretched family. In spite of these things, one thing was undeniable – he was a provider, protector, and did whatever he could for his family. He sold women’s shoes to provide a living for his family and all he wanted when he came home was a beer and some ‘me’ time. But I digress. My question is this: why are the less redeeming qualities of the aforementioned and other caricatures the modern day symbols fathers? Has the notion of Father’s Day become so dumbed down and cartoonish that it’s now somewhat of a parody? And if so, why? Who is to blame? I remember watching a television special (on either BET or TV-one) hosted by Anthony Anderson and LaLa Anthony. It featured the who’s who of celebrities paying homage to their mothers. I’ve seen it twice thus far, so I assume it’s televised annually. That said, I have yet to see a similar broadcast for dads. I wonder why this is. Has society lent a hand in our perception of the value of fathers? What about our court system? What about those mothers who go to great lengths to ensure the fathers are vilified in their children’s eyes once the romance is over? Father’s Day Shade in Schools Quick story. I remember when my son was in pre-school. Every time Mother’s Day came around he always came home from school with a card made for his mom. I thought this was awesome. However, a mere 4 weeks later it was the opposite.  I had asked his teacher, “Did anyone make Father’s Day cards?” as I stared at my sons nearly empty cubby containing nothing but a few papers. His teacher instantly became a deer caught in headlights. His response was, “Oh..oh..uuh, yeah I’ll have him make one for you.”  I wasn’t upset or anything, but I was slightly dejected. I was very involved in my son’s life. Every time I’d arrive to pick him up he’d sprint across the room and jump into my arms. On the following Monday I received a card.  However, the fact that I had to mention something about it left me a little miffed. Come to find out, my son was the ONLY child who made a Father’s Day card. Where Have all the Great Dads Gone? I remember growing up watching shows such as Good Times, Family Matters, The Cosby Show, Growing Pains and they all had upstanding men who set good examples of what a father should be. Fast forward to current times and you have shows that feature very little, if any, fatherly or strong male presence. In the instances there are, the woman plays a stronger figurehead in the household. Reality TV shows have done nothing to help soothe the numerous cuts and wounds that have been put there. Don’t get me wrong, there are some men out there who are scum bags. Apart from husbands who likely get little acknowledgment beyond a tie, what about the fathers who provide and care for their children despite no longer being in relationships with the mother? How about those dads who are only left with paying child support despite a valiant legal effort to get their rights? Where is their badge of honor? Do they get to have ‘Happy Father’s Day’ cards and praises heaped upon them? I’ve heard some brothers jokingly refer to Father’s Day as “Happy Child Support Day” and “Happy Baby-Daddy day”. It’s sad but unfortunately true. Maybe one day, just one day, ALL Fathers in this day and age will get their just due. Peace and Happy Fathers day to all the brothers out there. Celebrate it. You deserve it. Salute!! Follow me on Instagram @Cortonio5359 and check out my two books: ‘Fooled me Once shame on you, Fooled me Twice shame on….me?!’ and ‘Poetic food for the mind, body, and soul’

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